Amateur gets 'em oot for the lads

Fanny Hill (Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure)

Letter The First

The least delicate of all affairs of this sort being now over, I retir'd softly into my closet, where I began to consider what I should do. My first scheme, naturally, was to rush in and upbraid them; this, indeed, flatter'd my present emotions and vexations, as it would have given immediate vent to them; but, on second thoughts, not being so clear as to the consequences to be apprehended from such a step, I began to doubt whether it was not better to dissemble my discovery till a safer season, when Mr. H . . . should have perfected the settlement he had made overtures to me of, and which I was not to think such a violent explanation, as I was indeed not equal to the management of, could possibly forward, and might destroy. On the other hand, the provocation seem'd too gross, too flagrant, not to give me some thoughts of revenge; the very start of which idea restor'd me to perfect composure; and delighted as I was with the confus'd plan of it in my head, I was easily mistress enough of myself to support the part of ignorance I had prescrib'd to myself; and as all this circle of reflections was instantly over, I stole a tip-toe to the passage door, and opening it with a noise, pass'd for having that moment come home; and after a short pause, as if to pull off my things, I opened the door into the dining room, where I found the dowdy blowing the fire, and my faithful shepherd walking about the room and whistling, as cool and unconcern'd as if nothing had happened. I think, however, he had not much to brag of having out-dissembled me: for I kept up, nobly, the character of our sex for art, and went up to him with the same air of frankness as I had ever receiv'd him. He stayed but a little while, made some excuse for not being able to stay the evening with me, and went out.

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