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Fanny Hill (Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure)

Letter The First

I was now establish'd the kept mistress in form, well lodg'd, with a very sufficient allowance, and lighted up with all the lustre of dress.

Mr. H . . . continu'd kind and tender to me; yet, with all this, I was far from happy; for, besides my regret for my dear youth, which, though often suspended or diverted, still return'd upon me in certain melancholic, moments with redoubled violences, I wanted more society, more dissipation.

As to Mr. H . . ., he was so much my superior in every sense, that I felt it too much to the disadvantage of the gratitude I ow'd him. Thus he gain'd my esteem, though he could not raise my taste; I was qualify'd for no sort of conversation with him except one sort, and that is a satisfaction which leaves tiresome intervals, if not fill'd up by love, or other amusements.

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