Looking down on Alicia's endless chest

Fanny Hill (Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure)

Letter The First

The risks of Mrs. Brown's discovering my purpose, of disappointments, misery, ruin, all vanish'd before this newkindl'd flame. The seeing, the touching, the being, if but for a night, with this idol of my fond virgin-heart, appeared to me a happiness above the purchase of my liberty or life. He might use me ill, let him! he was the master; happy, too happy, even to receive death at so dear a hand.

To this purpose were the reflections of the whole day, of which every minute seem'd to me a little eternity. How often did I visit the clock! nay, was tempted to advance the tedious hand, as if that would have advanc'd the time with it! Had those of the house made the least observations on me, they must have remark'd something extraordinary from the discomposure I could not help betraying; especially when at dinner mention was made of the charmingest youth having been there, and stay'd breakfast. "Oh! he was such a beauty! . . . I should have died for him! . . . they would pull caps for him! . . ." and the like fooleries, which, however, was throwing oil on a fire I was sorely put to it to smother the blaze of.

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